Thursday, November 21, 2013
An online daily putting "Hooray!" in your day
Present Love (for Dad)
It's easier to forget, forgive and love in the present when I am with my father these days, even if it's a long-distance phone call. All past perceived "wrongs" or insults just drop away. It only took forty years for this slow change. Dad wasn't an easy man in his younger days--as husband, father or friend. But things always, always change, don't they?
As his dementia increases, my heart softens. I have more patience and compassion. He has more appreciation for the small, simple things, too. The only concern for either of us when we are "together"--whether on the phone or in person, is expressing love and gratitude for the moment and for each other. Luckily, for me, I've been with him in Florida this week gathering in his love and giving love.
I arrived yesterday. He lit up like a Christmas tree--you know the kind, the one's with big, gaudy, colorful bulbs. (Dad never liked these overly large lights. He's more of a subtle, white-twinkly-light-and-uniform tree kind of guy. But even that changes. Sorry, I digress!) I did not tell Dad that I was flying in from Washington, DC for a visit. The surprise was divine.
Our time together is short this visit, but filling. Even the quiet times like at the beach today were immensely rich. Though he couldn't walk on the sand, he could see the surf and birds from his plastic vantage point and read the paper away from the home where he resides. ("Home" seems such an odd word for where he lives these days, it almost feels like taking God's name in vain. There is very little that is home-like for him.) Both of us have enjoyed several meals out together, talked about simple things--those subjects that are "right now" while I fill-in the gaps that are either forgotten or not quite accessible to Dad's changing biology. We've watched lots of people and held hands wherever we've ended up sitting for long periods of time. Believe me, there have been plenty of those periods!
Tomorrow I return to the rush of DC and to making plans for my next trip south. I like this "forgetting, forgiving and loving"...I highly recommend it for those of us who are fortunate to have a parent or both parents who are still with us. There is always time for love, if you'll make it. I have--and it's made all the difference.
Did You Know?
This is Water (Image doesn't appear, but click the play button...It WILL play and it's worth it!)
This is a film by The Glossary called "This Is Water" which is taken from David Foster Wallace's commencement address at Kenyon College. The film is less than ten minutes. It's profoundness is in it's simple message. We hope that you enjoy it.
THD Quotes (To Bolster Your Hooray)
The most obvious, ubiquitous, important realities are often the ones that are the hardest to see and talk about.
We grow by love...
Others are our nutriment.
-- William Ellery Channing
We cannot hold a torch to light another's path
without brightening our own.
-- Ben Sweetland
Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget
they are also growing old.
The first to apologize is the bravest;
the first to forgive is the strongest;
and the first to forget is the happiest.
THD Poster (Get Your Hooray On!)