Already, the inbox is suggesting that I will fail at my resolutions. Statistics report that only 8% of us will be successful with our New Year's goals, so why bother, right?
Late last night, I looked at my list of intentions and I found something...
There is only one problem...and only one solution.
Where we see fat, over-eating, inappropriate grazing, putting the wrong things in our mouths or whatever oral fixation there might be, we tend to have a judgment about whatever the behavior is--or worse "who we are". We do the same thing with exercise, our dream jobs, how much time and money we contribute to charity or social justice causes or the time we spend with our children or aging parents. These troubling behaviors have been held in place by fear, shame, guilt, judgment and lack of love. It's simply a perception problem!
Where we see laziness, imperfection, poor time management, lack of discipline or any other host of "things-to-overcome", we are really perceiving a lack of love and self-judgment. We don't cut ourselves a break for a single instant--always sniping and bitching at ourselves for our less-than-perfect household, body, career, smarts, spiritual life, emotional intelligence, family relations or social status.
Enter love, instead of the monster, Judgment. Self-love opens the door to change far more quickly than self-denial, self-hatred, self-abuse, guilt and self-flagellation. The only result from beating yourself up is a bruised and broken spirit. Period. Instead of, Damnit, Lee Ann! Why the you-know-what, did you eat that cookie? Look at you! Could you look any worse today? That work-out you did isn't going to compensate for what you shove into your mouth! And why are you baking anyway? Yay, for your Dad in the nursing home, riiiiiigggghhht. That's what you say. How many of the cookies have YOU eaten before they are wrapped and shipped off to Dad? You loser. When are you going to just give up eating?--is there another way, another response? Sure there is! The recipe is to add love--soften things a bit, instead of going straight for the jugular. Okay, you've made cookies for Dad. That's good. He'll love them. And you, too, love your chocolate chip cookies. They'll be out of the house tomorrow. You've eaten a couple (much less than you might have just three weeks ago. That's good! You're gaining some control over what you put in your mouth. And also you're working out more--adding sit-ups, squats and push-ups. Each day you do more and more. Way to go! You know, Lee Ann, I love you and your generous spirit.
One way to handle our imperfections is to make ourselves wrong, the other is simply to meet ourselves as if we are a holy encounter. When we meet ourselves as holy and good, we offer ourselves that which we deserve and that which will serve our interests best, that is love. Love heals all. Love is the only change-agent we need.
Therefore, self-love is my first intention. Ready-set...LOVE!